Me As a Communicator

It is funny that I communicate with people everyday, but when I took the assessment I realized that I may have some hidden issues that I didn’t realize I had. I feel that I communicate well with my friends and family and also the families that are in my service. I was surprised when one of the test said that I can be verbally aggressive. I disagree with that. I do admit that when push comes to shove, I will speak my mind. I don’t think that I would intentionally attack someone with personal attacks on their character. The funny thing is, the two other people got the same score. So, that lets me know that I have to check myself in that area.

This week I learned that I am quick to assume things about people just because they remind me of someone else. I am guilty of assuming that if one person in the family doesn’t like something then the rest of the family members probably won’t either. This statement reminds me of my youngest son. I am allergic to onions. If I eat them, I cannot breath and will need medical attention. My youngest son said he doesn’t like onions. Well, I have never seen him eat an onion, so I can only assume that he doesn’t like them because he knows I can’t have them. I use onions to cook with at home, but I cook my food separately or before I put the onions in. I asked him to try the onions, but he will not. I have friends who are teachers because their mother was a teacher, but that is not their passion. When I looked at the picture in the discussion, I assumed she was a cleaning lady because I have encountered other women who look like her who were custodians.

If I let this kind of thinking enter into my professional life, what kind of relationship will I have with my families and students? I have to be sure that I know my children before they come into the classroom. I want to be able to have a good rapport with them and ask the necessary questions to find out who they are. All of this comes under the ability to communicate. As for my personal life, we have family meetings once a month to talk about things that are going on with us. We spend the whole day together doing things as a family. We have open communication in my home. I have made sure that my children can talk to me about anything. AND THEY DO!! Sometimes I am not prepared for what they tell me. Regardless of how we communicate, it is a part of life. Whether we have good or bad communication skills, we have to use what we have in this world. Throughout this course I hope that my communication skills will improve. I am on the journey of learning about myself and how to create a better me.

Cultural Diversity in the Workplace

As I think about the diversity that exists in my workplace, I think about the difference in religion, political views and in marriage. Religion is a topic that I always try to avoid because it is the one thing that can be argumentative. We all believe that our religion or faith is the best. I am a Baptist. When I moved to another city I was skeptical about the churches that are here. I would drive 2 1/2 hours every Sunday there and back so I could go to my home church.  After a while it became tiresome and the gas prices didn’t help either. Some of my colleagues invited me to visit their church. I found some of them to be boring, scary, and too long. When they invited me back I didn’t want to tell them the true reason why I didn’t want to go anymore. They would give me bible verses to read and try to explain why I was reluctant to go back. I found that it is better for me to listen and not comment when they are talking about their church. I don’t feel it is appropriate to argue over God’s word. I am respectful to their beliefs, but I don’t try to force my beliefs on them. I do invite them to our service, not because I think it is better but because I feel they need to be in some church. It doesn’t matter if it is mine or someone else’s church. As a child I can remember my mother slamming the door in the faces of the Jehovah Witnesses that would come by on Saturdays. I can’t say that I remember any coming to my home since I have moved here. If they do, I pray that I receive them in a better fashion than my mother did.

This election year has been one full of surprises. When President Obama was re-elected I have seen some of my colleagues show me who they truly are. They have made sarcastic comments about the next four years and him as a person. These are people who claim to be Christians. I have seen pictures lying around with him looking like Dumbo. No one knows who drew them or how they got there. We are not allowed to express our political views in the workplace by wearing clothing, buttons or stickers. I am an African-American woman, but that is not the reason why I voted the way I did. I feel that every one should be given a second chance. I have discussed the election with my colleagues and we both have exchanged our thoughts on it. It is important that we stand up for what we feel is the right thing even if our views are different. We have to be mindful of the things that we say and do so that no one will be offended. We can all talk about our views as mature adults, but when we see the conversation taking a turn for the worse we need to move on. I will not apologize for how I feel, but I will not criticize someone because their views are different.

I still consider myself a newly wed. I have only been married for two years. I was in a previous relationship for 10 years. Now I ask myself “Why?” Those are 10 years that I wasted, but it was a lesson learned. My friend has been with her boyfriend for 18 years. They live together and share all the expenses. I have often asked her why aren’t they married yet. She said, “It is not me. It is him.” She really wants to be married. When I decided that marriage was going to be one of my issues I decided to ask him the same question. His response was, “Why should I buy the whole cow when I can get the milk for free.” I wanted to knock him to the floor. Both of them have two different views about marriage. I tried to use myself as an example. I have kept myself out of their affairs because when you try to help it always seems to backfire. I direct them to other people who are qualified to answer their questions. I love her and I want so badly to tell her that he is never going to marry her. Not because I don’t like him, but because I have been there.

Communicating Messages

I recorded a 30 minute television show entitled The Big Bang Theory. I chose this series because I thought it was an old show from years ago. The cast members were dressed in Retro outfits. The ways in which they were communicating made me think that they were friends, but disagreed on a few things. The show only showed one woman the entire episode. I wondered whether or not they were having a conflict over her because she looked as if she was flirting with each of them. The entire cast kept going back and forth to one another’s apartments. It seemed as if they were confused and indecisive throughout the show. The show had a cast member from another country that reminded me of someone who wanted to always look good. He was dressed different from the other members. They looked as if they were always trying to help each other or getting into trouble.

When I turned the volume on I realized that my assumptions were not too far from what was happening. The girl, Penny, was friends with them all  but she dated Howard. Rajesh that is from another country wanted a girlfriend and always made sure his hair was nice and clothes were straight. Sheldon was weird. He was the smart one. He used big words and analyzed everything. When I watched it without volume I thought he was always getting into trouble. Leonard and Howard were the two who were the closest to being “normal”. If I had been watching a show that I was familiar with my assumptions would have been more accurate. The Big Bang Theory was predictable because of the setting.

It is important not to assume or judge something or someone by the way they look or act. We need to listen to people. I do an activity with my children to show them how important it is to have our five senses. When I did this activity it reminded me of how I teach them about the sense of hearing. I found myself squinting my eyes as if I was trying to hear. I did come to the conclusion that I will never watch that show again.

 

 

 

 

Communication

When I began to think about this assignment I had two people in my life that are different, but are special. They are my go to people. I chose to talk about my friend Portia. I have known her for five years and she is always there when I think I have no one. Our bond is so significant that she knows when something is wrong because she can feel it.

I have recently purchased a home and the process took longer than we expected it too. I was getting tired and ready to give up, but she wouldn’t let me. She always had an encouraging word for me. All of our talks are supported by scriptures from the bible. She is my sister in Christ that gives me tough love. I know that she has her own troubles, but she is the one that has to be strong for us all. A few days ago she came into my classroom and said, “Angela, it’s my turn now.” She couldn’t hold it in anymore (what she was going through). It is good to have someone in your life that you can depend on that will not judge you or criticize you, but will listen to you and give you advice or help you to come into your own.

I think because we are alike, that makes our relationship what it is. We have fun together on our “girls night out” as well as with our husbands on our “date” nights. I would model my communication behaviors after her because she is always positive no matter how bad the situation may seem. After it is over, I can always expect her to come back and say, “I told you so.”